Right, wrong, conventional, unconventional – these are mere words. What is ‘unconventional’ for one, maybe ‘conventional’ for the other, who’s to decide? Read through the ensuing pages and know for yourself the advantages and disadvantages of certain relationships.
In order to fully enjoy these practices, you must ensure you understand all of the potential ramifications prior to engaging in them.
Three is not a crowd
It is a common dream which in today’s time and age has the potential to be oh-so real. It involves you, your partner, and another person. Most people enter it to experience a new form of sex as they are bored of the ‘vanilla’ sex they have with their partner. However, the best would be if all three of you are reasonably well known to each other and comfortable enough to enjoy a sexual act.
Advantage: You have the chance to spice up your sex life as by bringing in a third person you are exploring facts of your personality and sexual relationship which you didn’t know existed. If done correctly, it can be an intense and amazing experience.
Disadvantage: Finding someone to enjoy a threesome can be problematic. Where do you find someone you can trust implicitly?
Should you pick up someone from the bar or disco who will leave you alone after the sex-capade? Mostly it’s done with friends or colleagues at work who you are comfortable with. But if you are willing to let a third person on your couple-dom, make sure you remain sensitive to your primary partner. If you focus too much on the newcomer there could be resentment and possible, fallouts.
When a couple has organised sex with other people, it means one is open to swinging. This is usually indulged in to enhance an almost dead relationship between a committed couple.
Advantage: You might enjoy it if the thought or the sight of your partner having sex someone else is an excitement for you. Or if you want to explore your sexuality outside the perimeters of what is acceptable, then go ahead.
Disadvantage: Both of you must make informed and non-judgmental decisions. If you are only doing it to spite your partner or on the rebound, please don’t do so as there will be tension, and it will be destructive to your relationship.
It’s, as the name clearly suggests, solely done for the purpose of a single, non-committal sexual encounter.
Advantage: It’s an easy way of enjoying unlimited sex in one night with no room for emotions. But if it’s done with someone known to you, well, emotions will creep in, sooner or later.
Disadvantage: Do you know if the person you are having sex with has AIDs or not, has any other STD? Could he or she be a shady character? Even in your drunk state, try and assess the individual you plan to bring back to your pad and if you cannot, call a friend who can!
As the name suggests, in this kind of relationship, there are no bounds. However, there is a commitment between two people, but they can have as many partners to have sex with as they wish. It won’t amount to cheating as everything is discussed and it’s there in the ‘open’.
Advantage: You get an opportunity to explore your sexual quotient outside the restrictions put upon them by a committed relationship. There is freedom of ‘emotional movement’ as you decide who you want to spend your morning and nights with.
Disadvantage: Chances of falling in love with the person outside your committed relationship are very high. This will create a rift between you and your primary relationship which may call for a new decisions lending you instability.
These days it’s common to have a friend with benefits or FWB, as it’s known. He or she maybe a good friend, a person you know casually from work or a neighbour who you’ve hooked up with specifically and solely for the purposes of sex.
Advantage: In this set-up, it’s a clear and mutual desire to only enjoy sex together. This is a utopia-like state where sex is unlimited and easy. You feel free here as there are no obligations to build a relationship.
Disadvantage: But what if either of you develop feelings for the other and worse, if are not reciprocated? This could create resentment and make you feel used and abused, all the while destroying the relationship you may otherwise share with the person.